 "Do your homework!" "Pay attention!" "Get organized!" School has begun, and along with it, the challenge of keeping our kids motivated, and keeping them with their heads above water as they enter another academic year. I came across this great article that highlights the law of indirect effort. Take time to "See" your child. How much time do you spend during the week "doing nothing" with your child. Believe me, when I read this article, it hit me right between the eyes. The more you "see" your child, the more free s/he will feel to achieve in school. Read all about it here! What's EQ got to Do With It?! 08/17/2009
 Image Credit: slark @Flickr  Photo Credit: JavaProgrammer @Flickr The first step in effectively dealing with the diagnosis of attention deficit disorder in yourself or in a loved one is to get a correct understanding about the condition. I am going to list these MythUnderstandings briefly, and then you will have the option to read more in depth about them at the end of my post. Myth #1: ADHD isn't a real medical disorder. "Truth: ADHD has been recognized as a legitimate diagnosis by major medical, psychological, and educational organizations, including the National Institutes of Health and the U.S. Department of Education. The American Psychiatric Society recognizes ADHD as a medical disorder in its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders - the official mental health "bible" used by psychologists and psychiatrists. Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (also known as attention-deficit disorder) is biologically based. Research shows that it's a result of an imbalance of chemical messengers, or neurotransmitters, within the brain. Its primary symptoms are inattention, impulsiveness, and, sometimes, hyperactivity." from ADDitude Magazine. Myth #2: Children who are given special accommodations because of their ADHD are getting an unfair advantage. "The federal Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) requires that public schools address the special needs of all children with disabilities, including children with ADHD. Special accommodations, such as extra time on tests, simply level the playing field so that kids with ADHD can learn as successfully as their non-ADHD classmates. " from ADDitude Magazine. Myth #3: Children with ADHD eventually outgrow their condition. Truth: > 70 percent of the individuals who have ADHD in childhood continue to have it in adolescence. Up to 50 percent will continue to have it in adulthood. Unfortunately, many children and adults are never diagnosed properity. and may end up highly vulnerable to depression, anxiety, substance abuse, career difficulties, and troubled personal relationships. Myth #4: ADHD affects only boys. Truth: Girls as just as likely to struggle with this condition. But because of this myth, unfortunately many end up not diagnosed. Myth #5: ADHD is the result of bad parenting. Truth: Because of this myth, parents may often punish their child even more for things the child cannot control. Unfortunately, overly strict parenting and punishment may actually increase the very behavior it is trying to extinguish. The impulsive behavior is often rooted in brain chemistry, not in discipline. "Professional interventions, such as drug therapy, psychotherapy, and behavior modification therapy, are usually required." (from ADD Magazine) MYTH #6: Children who take ADHD medication are more likely to abuse drugs when they become teenagers. Truth: Left untreated, ADHD actually increases the risk that the adolescent will abuse drug or alcohol. Treatment intervention actually reduces this risk. Myth #7: People who have ADHD are stupid or lazy - they never amount to anything. Truth: "People with ADHD are of above-average intelligence, recent studies show. They certainly aren't lazy. In fact, many well-known, high-achieving individuals from the past are thought to have had ADHD, including Mozart, Benjamin Franklin, Abraham Lincoln, George Bernard Shaw, and Salvador Dali. The list of high-achieving ADDers in business today includes top executives, such as David Neeleman, founder of JetBlue Airways, and Paul Orfalea, founder of Kinko's." You can read this entire article at ADDitude Magazine online. Let me know what you think: Post, Comment, or Share this Article  As you know from the one of the resources I offer on this page regarding bullying, I am a big fan of school psychologist, author, and advocate of bullying victims, Dr. Izzy Kalman. I think you will thoroughly enjoy reading this story he shares from a reader, that resulted in saving her child's life, literally. The Power of Negative Visualization 07/05/2009
 Norman Vincent Peale, years ago, wrote a classic called The Power of Positive Thinking. However, what many of us do not know is that he received a stack of rejection slips from publishers. He told his wife to throw out his manuscript. However, she took the manuscript out the next day, took it to a publisher, it was accepted and became a foundational best seller, selling more than 20 million copies in 47 languages. Some of his material may seem outdated today, but the truth of his writings are mirrored in what is today called the Law of Attraction. The problem is that most of us are trapped in working for more and more and more, hard to be content with what we have achieved, since human wants tend to be insatiable. The Stoic philosophers of old had a technique that can help you regain some of the contentment you may have been sensing lacking, as you strive for more and more in your life. This technique can also be helpful when you experience the disappointment of a failed goal, or when you are dealing with the ebbs and flows of a depression. In fact, Marcia Linehan, who has worked with a number of different challenging conditions, has employed this technique as a coping tool to help her clients deal with painful situations and emotions. I am borrowing the rest of this article, verbatim, from the publication, Early to Rise: "The technique is to spend some time each day imagining that you have lost the things you value most. Vividly imagine, for example, that your job has just been terminated, that your house - with all your possessions - has burned to the ground, that your partner has left you, or that you have lost your sight, your hearing, or the use of your limbs. This sounds horribly bleak, I know. But the Stoics were onto something here. They understood that everything we enjoy in life is simply "on loan" to us from Fortune. Any of it - all of it - can be recalled without a moment's notice. Epictetus reminds us, for example, that our children have been given to us "for the present, not inseparably nor forever." His advice: In the very act of kissing your child, silently reflect on the possibility that she could die tomorrow. The Roman philosopher Seneca advises us to live each day as if it were our last, indeed as if this very moment were our last. He's not suggesting that you drop your responsibilities and squander the day in frivolous or hedonistic activities. He's encouraging you to change your state of mind. Maybe you are already living the dream you once had for yourself. Along the way, however, you became jaded, bored, numb to the blessings that surround you. The goal of the Stoics would be to wake you up, to make you appreciate what you have today. Some will argue that negative visualization is fine for those who are happy, healthy, and prosperous - but how about the troubled, the less fortunate? Negative visualization works for them, too. If you have lost your job, imagine losing your possessions. If you have lost your possessions, imagine losing the people you love. If you have lost the people you love, imagine losing your health. If you have lost your health, imagine losing your life. There is hardly a person alive who could not be worse off. That makes it hard to imagine someone who wouldn't benefit from this technique. Adaptation diminishes our enjoyment of the world. Negative visualization brings it back. It also prepares us for life's inevitable setbacks. Survivors of tornados, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters, for example, may suffer terribly. Yet afterward, they often tell us that they were just sleepwalking through life before. Now, they are joyously, thankfully alive. No one should need a catastrophe to feel this way. You can attain the same realization through negative visualization. Moreover, it can be practiced regularly, so its beneficial effects, unlike a catastrophe, can last indefinitely. Try it and you'll see. I've found it's perfect for when you're standing in line or stuck in traffic, time that would be wasted otherwise. By contemplating the impermanence of everything in your world, you can invest all your activities with more intensity, higher significance, greater awareness. In sum, Norman Vincent Peale got it half-right. Positive visualization helps you get what you want. Negative visualization helps you want what you get. [Ed. Note: Alex Green is Investment Director and Chairman of The Oxford Club, and is the bestselling author of The Secret of Shelter Island: Money and What Matters. His new book - described by Michael Masterson as "shockingly good" - explores money, meaning, and the pursuit of the good life.  I like to scan the internet for helpful tools that parents can put to use immediately. I have no vested interest in any of these programs, but I do think you may find them of service to you in working with your children: Behavior Contracts  Some people grow up in healthy families, with privileges of wealth, status, and abilities. They make poor choices, bankrupt their families, and cause a lot of harm and suffering for their children and grandchildren. Other people grow up in unhealthy families, with poverty, abuse, and neglect, yet go on to accomplish great things and leave an incredible legacy. Obviously, this is not always the case, but there is an increased focus in the last years on the quality of resilience among survivors of tough backgrounds. By studying and learning about the traits of resilience, the ability to bounce back and flourish despite limitations and challenges, we can all improve our ability to withstand and prosper during challenging times in our own lives. This material is summarized from Positive Psychology writer Sherri Fisher. Here are some characteristics of resilience to study and emulate, which I am quoting from her article:
The Secret to Banishing That Gremlin! 04/29/2009
 How many of us grew up hearing criticism? Well, if we are human, all of us did! The question is, how much did you internalize it as a kid, when your ability to question and analyze was much less than it is now? To this day, you may live with limiting, nagging voices, which are a composite of the Gremlin, that Inner Critic based on all the negative ideas you have come to believe about and tell yourself about. 
Now, what worked for me in terms of audio programs, may not work for you, or for a child. Therefore, you may want to explore other great programs that are available. The Secret of Career Greatness 04/13/2009
I just finished reading a very interesting article about becoming great in your career. During this economy, striving for excellence is a great idea, so that you can create your own economy by making sure that who you are, as a person, and the value you bring to your work place is of a degree of excellence such that employers are seeking you out. | 
Resources:
Click Here: for the resource: How to Understand your Aspergers Child and have a Happier Family life! Click Here: Help Your Child Learn to Defeat Bullying! CategoriesAll ArchivesSeptember 2009  |
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